30+ Inappropriate Elves on Shelves (For Adult Eyes Only)

The Elf on a Shelf has been very naughty this year. These 32 inappropriate Elf on a Shelf ideas are best shared with the adults in your life.

Oh, and do us one tiny favor? When you go back to Facebook, could you please like the post that you clicked on to get here? It’ll help these “Dose of Daily Awesomeness” posts tremendously so that I can keep them coming for a long time to come. THANK YOU!

32 Naughty Elf on the Shelf Situations

Oh snap. Mr. Elf is in trouble now. What is the funniest Elf on a Shelf you have done?

Bizarre New Christmas Trend Sees Women Decorating Their Boobs To Look Like Rudolph

There are plenty of things we associate with everyone’s favorite holiday of the year, Christmas. Presents, Christmas trees, food, Christmas songs are all part and parcel of the festive season.

Of course, there’s always the infamously ugly Christmas sweaters that you have to wear at least once during the Chrismas period if you can claim to have any kind of festive spirit.

Red-nosed reindeers are a firm favorite when it comes to Christmas sweater embroidery – they’re cute and ludicrous all in one.

And you might expect a standard reindeer sweater to look a little like this:

But did you know that there’s a brand new trend rising through the ranks of social media? Let’s just say, it involves a conveniently-placed hole with a sneaky boob poking out.

So how exactly does one achieve this ingeniously revealing yet festive look?

Well, the women who have taken part in this craze will put their creativity to good use by cutting a big enough hole in their sweaters so that one of their breasts is visibly exposed. Other women simply pull down their sweater enough to expose their breasts. They then decorate their exposed breast with stick-on googly eyes, a red nose made out of tinsel and a pair of felt antlers.

Unsurprisingly the bold new trend has become a huge hit on Instagram amongst the popular photo-sharing app’s most daring users.

The ingenious and unprecedented festive craze can be found under the hashtag #rudolphboob for anyone who is keen to take a closer look.

Some of the most brazen women to have taken part in the trend have done so entirely on their own and others have mutual support from their gal pals making for some very titillating group photos.

And if you’re not one of the most creative people in the world but are interested in transforming your breast into Santa’s famous ninth reindeer, then you can also purchase a pre-made version from  “YourSassyGrandma”, an online Etsy store which specializes in “ugly Christmas sweaters”.

Yes, Etsy is under no illusions that the bizarre-looking sweater makes for a pretty aesthetic even referring to it as an “ugly sweater” on their website.

According to the description that comes with the Etsy sweater, “If you want to stand out at your Ugly Sweater Party, then this SEXY reindeer ugly Christmas sweater is for you!”

Ugly or not, there is no doubt about the fact that the sweater is extremely popular. In fact, it’s so popular that Etsy’s version of the sweater is completely sold out for this year.

Plus who needs a pretty-looking sweater when you’ve already got your best asset on display for everyone to see? And yes, it goes without saying but it’s probably not the best idea to wear it to your office’s Christmas party.

Oh and just when you thought it couldn’t get any more ludicrous, Etsy wants everyone to know that they don’t discriminate when it comes to catering to their male customers.

Yep, believe it or not, the popular online brand has even designed a menswear version of the festive sweater.

Men are encouraged to take advantage of their naturally hairier chest because, the more hair you have on your chest the better, it will make your reindeer look even more furry!

 

DNA TESTS PROVE RETIRED POSTMAN HAS OVER 1,300 ILLEGITIMATE CHILDREN

Nashville, TN | An 87-year-old former postman has been proven to have fathered over 1,300 illegitimate children after a private investigator hired by a Tennessee family discovered the shocking truth.

The investigation that has gathered thousands of DNA samples and testimonies over a 15-year period ultimately proves the man is the father to literally thousands of illegitimate children in the region.

” Contraception wasn’t very popular in those days “he told local reporters in his defence.

“I have nothing to be ashamed of. The 60s were the good old days and I did a great Johnny Cash impression which played out real good with the ladies,” he explained.

“Some even thought I was Johnny Cash for real,” he recalls laughingly. “I don’t know if they really believed it or if they were trying to convince themselves, but who was I to say no to a quickie?” he acknowledged.

“Author Anthony Kendall has teamed up with private investigator Sid Roy and will publish the results of the 15-year investigation next fall in an upcoming book”

Unraveling the truth

Private investigator Sid Roy never could have imagined a simple gig would end up in a 15-year quest for the truth.

“It all started in 2001 when two different men that had nothing to do with each other hired me to find their biological father. I was astounded after further investigation to realize they both originated from the same person.

That is when the mystery started unraveling and it became a personal mission of mine, whenever I had some free time, I’d try and track down other testimonies. Eventually, DNA testing became really cheap and easy to use and helped me gather a lot of information in the latest years,” he acknowledges.

No lawsuit in sight

The private investigator says the children of the old man don’t intend to pursue any lawsuit against the old man.

“Most people who are aware of the truth don’t want this information to get out and have given anonymous testimonies,” he explains. “The truth unleashed could break up hundreds or more families and that’s definitely not the point of all these years of research. All I know is that most people are glad to know the truth and don’t bear any grudge against the old man, I guess it was a more common practice in those days,” he acknowledges.

Although DNA testing and testimonies point out to over 1,300 illegitimate children fathered by the retired postman, Sid Roy believes there could be many more. “I’ve spent 15 years of my own personal time into this, I think it’s enough,” he admits. “But my research clearly shows there could be many more children,” he told local reporters, although he declined to comment if the numbers were in the hundreds or thousands more.

Wealthy homeowner refuses to move tank, says HOA is welcome to try and tow it


A homeowner in Houston, Texas is in hot water with his Home Owner’s Association after parking a fully restored Sherman tank outside his home.

Tony Buzbee made a small fortune as an attorney and spent over $600,000 restoring an authentic WWII Sherman that landed at D-Day. To Buzbee, the tank is a piece of history worth preserving, but his neighbors say it shouldn’t be preserved on the street. “Took a year to get here but now it’s on River Oaks Boulevard,” Buzbee told local news station KHOU 11. “This particular tank landed at Normandy. It liberated Paris and ultimately went all the way to Berlin. There’s a lot of history here.”

Calling the homes along River Oaks Blvd. “wealthy” would be an understatement. While some neighbors think the tank is an eye-sore, there’s no ordnance prohibiting Buzbee from parking his tank in front of his house. “It’s not violating any ordinance, but for some people it makes the homeowners association uncomfortable,” said Buzbee.

The HOA sent Buzbee a complaint saying the tank “impedes traffic”, causes a “safety issue” and is causing “serious concerns for neighbors”.

“If you’re offended just lighten up, my goodness it isn’t hurting anyone,” said Buzbee. It turns out that most of the neighbors actually like the tank. “It’s great for America,” said homeowner Ken Douglas. “I wish it was permanent. I think it’s an asset and I think if you watch the cars come up and slow down, you say to yourself, ‘wow, that’s America.’”

Buzbee says he’s not worried about the complaints. “The problem is there is no action they can take,” said Buzbee. “They can ticket it or they can try to tow it, but the truth is unless I decide to move it, it’s not going anywhere.”

The attorney turned historian is planning to move the tank to his ranch in East Texas. Chances are he’ll probably delay that trip a few more weeks.

What do you think about the tank in the road?

Source:www.americangg.net

Man dug a tunnel from home to the pub and drank every night while his wife slept


A plumber from Ireland, believe it or not, dug a tunnel from his bedroom to a local pub, located 800 meters away from his home. It took him 15 years to get it, and he came up with an idea after seeing the movie “The Shawshank Redemption”.The reason – his wife snoring extremely loud.

Patsy K. received a summons to the court after thanks to him sewage pipe under his neighbor’s house blew. He told the court everything related to his tunnel, as well as the reasons he had been digging for the past 15 years.

– My wife has a snoring problem. After watching the movie “The Shawshank Redemption” in 1994, I decided to do something about it, so I started digging a hole under the bed in the direction of a pub. I used all kinds of tools, from spoons to tunnel drills that I managed to take to the hole while my wife was in shopping. It was only in 2009 that I managed to go to the other side, in the women’s toilet and storage room – said Patsy.

For the past five years, Patsy went to the pub every night at 11:00 pm and returned in one hour after midnight. His wife did not even think what her husband was doing and where he was going when she fell asleep.  

– To be honest, I’m glad to be caught. My wife always felt that I smelled of alcohol, and I answered that it was my natural scent. It was just a matter of time when someone would catch me. The owner of the pub always wondered how I always came from nowhere, and how I got out of the women’s toilet – said Patsy.

The tunnel was discovered after a sewage problem emerged caused by a crack by Patsy accidentally struck while digging a hole.   update: Turns out this story is actually fake, it fooled us too. At least it was funny and entertaining…